Is it me, or does it seem like Gray squirrels may be quietly taking over the world? I see them almost everywhere. In our cities, suburban neighborhoods, parks, and rural forests. It’s like “Squirrels Gone Wild!” My drive to and from work some days, seems like a real life version of the old video game Frogger, as I wear down my brakes trying to avoid flattening them on the pavement. Their decision-making skills trying to cross a road is not the greatest among our native mammals. Run real fast-stop halfway across-turn around and start to run back-stop again-damn, too late!
Fortunately, it may just be a sign of the season. Gray squirrels are scientifically classified as rodents, but in reality, they’re hoarders, and right now they’re at the peak of their hoarding season. They eat nuts. Lots of nuts. Walnuts, hickory nuts and acorns from oak trees. Late summer through late fall these trees are dropping their nuts (nuts are the trees’ seeds) all over the place, and these four-legged, bushy-tailed critters are grabbing as many of them as they can stuff in the their furry, little cheeks. You may see them sit and eat a few of the nuts right away, but most of them are snatched up and stored at pre-determined locations, to be eaten later. Nuts aren’t their only favorite snacks. They also eat leaf buds in the spring, berries, corn, birdseed (read on) and, yes, people food. As a matter of fact, they can get pretty aggressive when it comes to human scraps. My daughter, Darby, describes the squirrels on her college campus as “ferocious and pretty scary!” In one of the parks I help manage, I actually witnessed one scurry down a tree, jump on a picnic table where an unsuspecting family was enjoying a pizza, and grab a half-eaten slice right off a paper plate. With pepperonis and mushrooms flying everywhere, the varmit shot right back up the tree with the slice of pizza dangling out of its mouth. I love pizza, but I don’t even do that!
My biggest battles with Gray squirrels play out in our own backyard. They are constantly challenging me to try and stop them from raiding our bird feeders and stealing the coveted sunflower seeds. I consider myself an experienced backyard bird feeder, but I have yet to find a completely “squirrel-proof” bird feeder. I know many companies may market their feeders as “squirrel-proof,” but I’ve never seen one that is 100% successful. If they can’t figure a way to get in to the feeder, they simply jump and hang on it until it breaks loose, falls to the ground, and spills the seed out. I call it their Grab-N-Crash method. Crude, but effective. Our last line of defense are our two beagles. The two dogs are so conditioned to chasing these critters that we simply have to look out the back window, quietly mumble the “S-word” in their direction, and they shoot downstairs toward the back door, like cheetahs pursuing gazelles across the African Plains.
As much as I get frustrated watching these acrobats steal our expensive black oil sunflower seeds, I do admit that I’m constantly amazed how they continue to find new strategies for obtaining the seed. I’ve watched them leap from five feet away, and several feet straight up from the ground, hang upside down and even stretch out the full length of their bodies-front feet grabbing the feeder and back feet desperately clinging to a branch. They’re fast, creative and smart little tree critters! So, for the time being, I’ll slow my driving down and simply keep watching “Squirrels Gone Wild!”
